Permission To Pretend
by Bren Gail
Summary: Garcia must persuade Hotch to allow Jack to tryout for a Christmas pageant. For Xmas Gift Exchange on Chit Chat on Author's Corner. Prompts; Garcia/Hotch. Little Drummer Boy, bayberry candle, church or school Christmas pageant.


Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with the wonderful television show, Criminal Minds.

_**Permission To Pretend**_

Aaron Hotchner had always known that his Technical Analyst, Penelope Garcia, wore her heart on her sleeve, but the amount of love and hope that filled her honey brown eyes tore at two distinct something inside him that he normally kept deeply buried within. Although, he knew that he did not need to question her motive or her thoughts, he did so out of the distinct instinct of not a lawyer, prosecutor, or FBI agent, but of a father.

"Why would you want to do this?" He asked unwittingly in the tone that was reserved for uncooperative unsubs. He observed her reaction and response. She blinked and took a short breath as if he had smacked her. He blinked as he watched the love and hope dim to allow room for the hurt and defiance that was response to his callous tone. She sat the old fashioned chocolate malt down onto the table top of the booth that had become their usual seating during their almost weekly casually dressed Sunday brunch that had started a few weeks after Haley unfortunate murder.

"How can you sit there and interrogate me as if I'm an unsub?" She retorted then asked insubordinately. "Why are you being such a guarded jackass? This is me, Penelope, you know, the Goddess that is Garcia. "

Although he felt apologetic for the tone that he had used, he was not for asking the question, nor would he leave her questions without answers, "Penelope," He paused as if considering his words and the impact that would occur. "I've always been guarded, but more so since,"

"Hotch," Penelope interrupted him not wanting him to vocalize the terror that had engulfed his life throughout the years, but more so in the last two. "I understand that you are a private person and you're wary of letting people near you and Jack. You have your reasons that I know and completely understand, but that does not give you the right to be a jackass, I did not deserve to be treated like an unsub. I don't understand why you're questioning this, it's a win win for all parties involved."

"Be as that may be," Aaron replied dryly before his tone turned to a more polite octave. "Why would you want to do this?"

Her eyes narrowed as she tardily recognized the fact that he was more than simply observing her, but was profiling the possible reasons why she would want to do this for both him and his son.

"What do you think is the reason?" She retorted. "It seems as if you've already come to a conclusion so please enlighten this Technological Goddess to this supposed ulterior motive, oh high profiling lord."

"Penelope," He sighed as he rubbed his left hand across his face irritably. "I don't doubt that you'd love to help with Jack's school's Christmas pageant, but how do you know that he wants to do this? Just because you've used acting as a tool to cope and escape from realities that you can't change, doesn't mean that it will work for Jack."

Penelope flinched. "What?" She asked in a shocked tone. "What's with the personal insults today? Speaking of my acting, boss man," She continued not noticing the corner of his eyes twitch at the title. "No one was supposed to have known about it, as it were, how did you put it?" She paused dramatically then continued before he could reply. "That's it," She snapped her fingers. "Escape from realities that I can't change? If everyone knew about it then we can astutely say that it would not longer be a complete escape as I had originally wanted it.

"I'm sorry for betraying the confidence that you placed in me. I had thought that of all people, Morgan knew about it, since you had told me about it, but obviously I was incorrect." He paused in realization. "You changed the subject. Why do you want Jack to be in the pageant?"

"And you, kind sir, did not answer my question." She interjected. He took a sip of his iced water. "Until you answer mine, yours will remain unanswered."

"Which was?" He replied relieved that she was no longer on the defensive, but reverting to the low key, but playful banter that they normally participated in during their time away from the BAU and once upon a time within the BAU which was before Gideon had left.

"What does your most skilled profiling skills say is the reasoning behind this request?" She replied lightly, but they both knew that she was still upset that he had started to profile her. They had had a conversation, or rather she spoke and he listened, about the annoyance, frustration, and injustice that she was continuously profiled by both Rossi and Morgan, and yes even he.

Aaron did not answer immediately even though both knew that he had already concluded the answer. She quietly began to sip her malt as she awaited his answer. She started humming along to the song that emanated through the jukebox several yards away from their booth. She fidgeted while he intently stared at her as he considered the way to answer her question and she quietly hummed along to faith Hill's rendition of the _Little Drummer Boy._ He stated after long consideration. "Pity, sympathy, and empathy."

"We've had a similar conversation about this before, but it's been a long time so I suppose we'll have to have it again." She sighed. "I do feel sorry for Jack, but not in the way that you think that I do."

He pointedly stared at her as if to call her on her bullshit.

"Hotch, I know that you don't want pity and you don't want Jack to be subjected to it, but the fact is that people will feel pity, sympathy, and empathy with and to him once they find out that his mother was murdered. I know that those words and emotions are the same as vulgar curse words in your vocabulary, but it's true. However, what isn't true, is that that is the reason why I"m asking you to let Jack be in his school's Christmas pageant and for me to volunteer behind the scenes." She paused. "Jack wants to be in it."

"How do you know?" He asked curiously.

"Jack told me about it last week while you went to get the Chinese take out and Jack and I stayed at the house and watched cartoons."

"Why didn't he tell me about it?" He asked in a tone that slightly displayed confusion and hurt.

"I think that he mentioned being scared to."

"What?" He replied flabbergasted, folded his hands that were lying flat on the table top, and cleared his throat. "I don't want Jack afraid of me."

She sighed and cradled his folded hands into hers. She held his gaze except when he subtly glanced at their intertwined hands. She confessed Jack's fear. "He isn't afraid of you, Aaron." She bit her lip in contemplation and a twinge of uneasiness at using his first name even though he had suggested her call him such several times over the past year. She didn't understand why it wasn't easy calling him by his first name, because she had frequently before Gideon had resigned. He moved his hands so that his fingers interlocked with hers. She slowly swallowed. He watched her. She continued after a long minute had passed, but stopped shortly after. "It might," She paused, blinked, and slightly blushed when she felt his thumbs gently caress her palms momentarily before they stilled as if in realization of what they were doing and to whom. She smiled as she shook the feeling off. "It might have something to do with you being the best at absolutely everything."

"Penelope." He started to disagree, but she interrupted him as she withdrew her right hand from his left. She held her hand up as if to say stop, but it slightly faltered in the air once he cradled her left hand in both of his.

"Aaron," She sighed, closed her eyes, then opened them. He swallowed as he awaited for her to continue. "Jack worships you. You are his hero in every sense of the word and he thinks that you're the absolute best at everything that you do. Nobody beats you or is better, but he remembers the story that you told him about how you and Haley met, _The Pirates of Piranze_, and he remembers that you said that you were the world's worst."

"I'm glad that he thinks of me as a hero, because I am, but I don't understand how this makes him scared to ask to be in a christmas pageant."

"Aaron," She said slowly as she was unsure how he would receive the answer. "Jack really wants to be in this pageant, but he doesn't want to disappoint you by being worse and I think that he might be scared that he might be better than you in this aspect."

"You think so?" He asked as he slowly slid his thumbs up and down the back of her hand. She replied in a murmured acquiesce. She watched as he continued to caress the back of her hand. She sat froze not sure whether to pull her hand back or let him continue to mindlessly caress it. Her indecision made the decision to let him continue both the ministrations and his line of questioning. "Okay, I'll ask Jack whether or not he wants to be in the pageant and I'll reassure him that it's okay to be better than me."

"Hm, okay, thank you." She replied as she discreetly attempted to remove her hand away from his, but he subtly tightened his grip which made her stop her silent protests.

"You never answered my question about why you wanted to do this." Aaron amusedly reminded her.

"Huh?" Penelope asked in confusion then realized that he was still speaking of the pageant. She felt sort of silly about thinking that maybe he he was talking about something else. She inwardly sighed at the out of reach fantasy. She cleared her throat. He smiled that he wasn't the only one discomforted by this not so new turn of events. She answered. "I want to volunteer to help with the pageant for several reasons. I love to help. I love Christmas. I love Jack. But really, I can't resist the Hotchner charm." She paused as her eyes slightly widened at her confession. He smugly smirked. She outwardly recovered while inwardly she was panicking. She quickly decided to play the confession off by making it a joke. "Really, Hotch," The smirk slid off his face when she reverted to calling him Hotch as if it were a defense mechanism that blared stop and don't touch. "I swear that Jack has me wrapped around his little finger. There isn't much that I'd deny him." She smiled through her inner turmoil and continued. "The little G-man said that you have to sign a permission slip for him to tryout for the play and for me to volunteer. The slip said that whatever volunteers for the pageant referred would ultimately be the responsibility of the parent that signed off on them."

"You're my responsibility regardless of what a piece of paper says." He replied. "But, I"ll sign the paper so you can do it."

"Hotch, I'm not your responsibility." She retorted. He looked at her pointedly. She conceded to a point. "Okay, I'm your responsibility while we're on cases and such."

"No, Penelope, you're my responsibility regardless of whether it's on the Bureau's time or not." He corrected her in a tone that left no argument. She nodded her head. He continued in a lighter more banter tone. "So," He smirked. "Do I have you wrapped around my little finger like Jack?"

She was silent for a long moment before she replied. "Like Jack no," She paused as she considered what to say without revealing how much and why he had her and it had nothing to do with the Bureau. However, she was saved from confessing her secrets when she heard the bell above the entrance ring and happy chitter chatter coming toward them. She smiled then tried to jerk her hand from Aaron's when she recognized Jack and his aunt Jessica coming toward them dressed in Sunday's best. Aaron tightened his grip of his right hand around her hand as he slid his left hand to firmly hold her wrist.

"Penny!" Jack squealed as he jerked his left hand from Jessica's right and exuberantly walked the few yards to the booth.

"My favorite junior G Man!" Penelope giggled as he slid into the booth beside her and wrapped his tiny arms around her neck. She placed her left hand on his shoulder in an attempt to hug him back, but she couldn't properly, because his father had her right hand imprisoned. "How was church?"

"Fun!" He replied then looked at Aaron and how he held Penelope's hand. "Hi Daddy! Why are you holding Aunt Penny's hand?"

Penelope sputtered. Aaron blinked and released her hand and placed his own flat on his quadriceps underneath the table. Before Penelope could overcome her shock of the little boy's question or before Aaron could weave an explanation that did not explain anything, Jessica answered Jack's question effectively saving both of the other adults from revealing something that they did not want to not only to Jack, but each other. "Because, sweetheart, he was wanting her to understand what he was saying," She inwardly added or what he wasn't, but continued outwardly. "You know when you're scared or confused about something, Daddy holds your hand while he talks to you and lets you know that he loves you no matter what."

"Yes." Jack replied then asked a more uncomfortable question than about the reasoning behind the hand holding. "Daddy, does that mean that you love Aunt Penny?" Each of the three adults blinked in surprise. Penelope blanched. Aaron swallowed. Jessica inwardly laughed at Jack's astuteness and innocence. Jack added. "Does it?"

"Absolutely." Aaron replied shocking both Jessica and Penelope who both gave him looks of different levels of shock. "I care about your Aunt Penny very much. Remember that we talked about family and friends and the importance to let them know that we care and love them?"

"Yes, sir." Jack replied then added. "I love Aunt Penny this much." He then spread his arms out as far as he could.

"I love you too!" Penelope replied as she gave him a bear hug. Jack took a seat beside Penelope, while Jessica took the seat next to Aaron.

"Would either of you like something to eat?" Aaron asked Jack and Jessica.

"No, thank you, we just left a pot luck lunch at the church."

"May I have some juice, please Daddy?" Jack asked politely.

"Yes, you may." He replied and motioned for the waitress and ordered Jack an orange juice.

"Thank you." Jack told the waitress as she sat the small kid friendly cup of orange juice in front of him.

"You're welcome, dear." She replied then added before she wandered off. "If any of you need anything else just holler."

"Jessica, has your friend gotten the chance to check out that candle shop in Jamestown, that we went to a couple of weeks ago?" Penelope asked.

"Yes," Jessica replied cheerfully. "Hanna loved it! She fell in love with all the home made candles, but more specifically their version of the bayberry candle. I didn't know the story behind it until that clerk was telling us both about it." She revealed then tactully inquired and slipped a glance at Aaron who was watching Jack quietly sip his orange juice. "Maybe you'll get one this Christmas?"

"I highly doubt that, Jessica." Penelope dryly retorted then she glanced at Aaron and rolled her eyes. Jessica rolled her eyes too.

Aaron feeling as if he had just missed something that occured between two of the most important women in his life before he focused his attention to the matter that Jack wanted to be a Christmas pageant, but seemed apprehensive on vocalizing that want to his hero, his father.

"Jack, I heard that you're school will have a Christmas pageant in a few months." He stated as he watched his son's reaction. Jack could barely contain the happiness that the pageant was brought up, but apprehension was still there. "What pageant will it be?"

"Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer!" Jack excitedly replied as if that pageant would be the absolute best.

"Would you like to try out for the pageant?" Aaron inquired.

"Yes, sir." Jack replied almost in a guilty tone.

"Which character do you want to be in the pageant?" Aaron asked even though he had a very good idea what the answer would be.

"Rudolph, course, Daddy!" Jack replied. All three adults smiled at the innocence and excitement that he was portraying.

"You'll be the best Rudolph ever!" Aaron declared.

"Really?" Jack asked hopeful and excited.

"Better than me! Because we all know that I'm the best, but you Jack, are the best of me and you're mom, which makes you the best!" Aaron stated effectively dismissing any fear or insecurity that Jack had about how he, Aaron, felt about the possibility that Jack would be better at anything that he, Aaron, did.

"Really?" Jack repeated his earlier question in the same tone.

"Yes, sir!" Aaron replied.

"Can Aunt Penny helps the teachers?" Jack asked shyly.

"Yes, if she wants too." Aaron replied.

"I do." Penelope reassured Jack as she smiled a mega bright smile.

"Wasome." Jack replied as he butchered the word awesome. He stood on the booth bench and hugged Penelope. "Thank you, Aunt Penny!" He then climbed down the bench and walked to his Aunt Jessica and made motion for her to pick him up. She did so and he gave her a hug. "Did ya hear, did you hear? Aunt Jessie? Did you hear? Me an' Aunt Penny have the bestest fun. We be the bestest pretendingers you ever see."

"I heard, Jackster." Jessica replied as she laughed and hugged her nephew. Jack climbed from Jessica's lap to Aaron's awaiting arms.

"Thank you, Daddy." Jack said as he hugged his daddy. "I make you and Aunt Penny prouds!" He said as he hugged Penelope and began to chatter about Rudolph and the other mean reindeer.

Although, Jessica Brooks, had quickly and easily agreed with her nephew, she completely disagreed with Jack's assessment as she believed that two of the best pretenders that she had seen for a time were sitting across from one another pretending that their almost weekly Sunday brunch (while Jessica and Jack normally attended church) and the biweekly chinese take out night that Jack enthusiastically participated in, weren't actually dates, but more of a catching up and getting to know one another better between friends meals. Moreover, they pretended that they didn't feel anything more than friendship and mutual respect for the other.

After all, Jessica conceded that the unorthodox pair had so many obstacles in their way, what was the point of them not pretending that they were strictly friends and coworkers? They pretended not to be in love with the other for whatever reasons that were their own, but their permission to continue to pretend was coming close to being revoked.


End file.
